When Blaming Helps, It Doesn’t

Weaving the tapestry of my emotional experiences, I’m here claiming my heart-adherent nature. I’m a kind of person who does and says whatever she wants. I have never said NO to my heart even when it asks me to ruin myself.

If I want to do something, I do it at all costs. It makes me feel better. But the consequences vary in gravity. Sometimes I regret my actions for days, weeks and even for months but stubbornly, I repeat the process. Then, in some solemnly feeble moment, I throw the heft on someone else and move on.

 

That’s the worst part, I’ve recently realized.

 

Blaming someone else for what you’re going through or have been through and eventually feeling better about it is fatuous. I accept the fact that people mistreat us, people snatch our rights away, they push our voices down to the dungeons where nobody listens, they make us feel miserable, they pretend to love us but end up stabbing our backs, their words and actions don’t synchronize, they don’t care and eventually kill us with silence. But that’s them. You might have heard “WISE” people saying ‘people don’t change; they just unveil their true selves.’ It makes sense if you notice.

 So, when you scream sitting in that dungeon full of effulgent darkness of your despair and seek help, nobody notices. Even if they do, they don’t because, at the end of the day, you born and die alone. I’m not promoting aloofness here, but the fact is fact. Now after a prolonged period of grieving, you decide to embrace the sun’s kisses and come back to your reticent existence, you try to forget what you’ve felt in previous days but it doesn’t go.

 

Here, you find refuge in blaming such as

I’m worthless because that person mistreated me.

I’m a failure because that interviewer made me nervous.

I can’t study because I have no money.

I’m ruined because God took that person away from me.

And etcetera etcetera.

 
This is hell of an illusion. I know things can’t change. But blaming doesn’t help even when you feel like it does. It belittles the other person who might deserve it, but you don’t deserve this negativity in your life. Accepting things in your way, accepting your failure, accepting that it just wasn’t mean to be like this opens countless doors to self-growth.

 

Reminder: When I’m saying blaming doesn’t help when it does, it also includes self-blame. It doesn’t help either. The shift in the orientation isn’t my intention, exclusion of all orientations is.

So instead of sitting on your grieving couch, over-thinking about gone things and blaming yourself for being so naïve and someone else for being an a***ole, you’re wasting your life.

 

In the matter of emotions, persuasion doesn’t come handy, but you need to come out of this ‘blaming’ zone. When you make someone else responsible for your miseries, you just sit back and curse them. When you blame yourself, you again sit back and hate yourself. What purpose does it serve? It’s an intentional or unintentional journey towards unwelcoming death.

 

Why not let things be? Why not forget blaming those who don’t even deserve your attention? Why not forgive yourself? For whatever wrong you did to yourself.

Trust me blaming might make you feel better, but running from reality doesn’t help.

Considering all this trash, I’ve come to a conclusion that even when I’ve been mistreated, I don’t blame people because it was me who was fool enough to let them play. Now, I don’t blame myself either, because I loved them. So, I forgive myself for loving the wrong reasons, the wrong people at the wrong time.
 

 

I don’t blame time, divinity or any human factor for what I go through because that’s what makes us human; breathing meat with hundreds of thousands of feelings.

 

Liberate yourself from the curse of blame and don’t cause any trouble to any other soul. Don’t let anyone play blame-blame in your surroundings. Help people stand for themselves. Help people grow and learn and heal. Blame is all about pain, hatred and self-destruction. Don’t serve it.

 

Rant over.

Any opinion?